It’s really hard to consider loving again, especially since in the past all you know after that initial feeling of love is lying and deception. Being with that one person that when you’re in their arms the whole world stops and you’re the safest you’ll ever be. When they’re actually the root of all your evils. But that’s the thing, you have to get up, brush off all that baggage and move on. Because If you don’t, if you bring all of that poison with you. You’ll never result in any relationship. No matter how much you blame him, hope he dies, hope that lie he told you will help in his demise, all you can do is move. Move on. And in due time it’ll all become easier, slowly, but surely. But yes, it’s hard. Very hard.